Wearing a Different Hue – Because She’s Worth It
As I’m sure most every first-time mother can attest, the last few weeks of pregnancy are a roller coaster.
You feel the crazy high of nesting (a pretty word for me scrubbing my bathtub in my underwear at 10 p.m.), and the swollen grief – all the puns intended- of realizing very soon, that precious baby who has been listening to you sing Britney Spears in the car way too much, and who has been following your fingers on your belly, is going to be out in the world.
All of the late-night Google searches of “Am I in labor?” “What does labor feel like?” “Is a natural birth REALLY worth it?” and the YouTube rabbit holes that you find yourself in, just trying to figure out if you’re doing it right.
Something that I stumbled across, and perhaps the thing that had the biggest effect on me, was the sentence,
“If you want to know how a woman views her body, look at the way HER mother views her own body.”
What a terrifying and yet, empowering statement. The truth in this shook me.
The fact that, as my little girl grows up she will look to me to shape how she sees herself and how she takes care of herself. Will she be validated and proud of who she is, the body she has been given, or will she learn to hate the scale, and to think self-care is reserved only for special occasions?
I think women have a misconception that giving all that they have, and taking care of themselves last, all in the name of “self-sacrifice” or “being a good mother” is what we’re supposed to be doing. There’s a reason that you’re supposed to put the oxygen mask on yourself first if there is an emergency on a plane.
I’m not going to sit here and try to tell you that anyone can be the perfect model of self-love, because we all struggle and we all have our insecurities. That would be like me trying to tell you that all I’ve had to eat during my pregnancy was organic milk and spinach salads. Goodness help me, there’s a Taco Bell like three minutes from my house, people. The fact is, none of us were given a perfect example, and none of us ever will be able to say that they have it all together.
But that’s not what’s really important, is it? How can I encourage my beautiful little girl to make wise choices for her body, mind, spirit and heart? By showing her that she doesn’t have to be perfect. But opening her eyes to why taking care of herself is so important, and teaching her to love who she is.
One thing I’ve discovered is that part of loving who you are, is taking care of who you are even in the smallest of ways.
Like the basic beauty products I use, and how I approach hygiene. The example I set for her from the time she’s watching mama put on makeup and deodorant to what deodorant will she end up choosing as a teenager. Or how I always make sure I get some green stuff on our plates at dinner… and the way I make sure I'm open and honest about my mistakes and the lessons I've learned from them so she won't be afraid to make her own... all of these examples are going to matter to her just as much or more than what I tell her. That is why I’m making self care a priority even more than ever now… because self care and self love go hand in hand and even if no one can do it perfectly, I’ll damn well give it nothing short of my best. Here’s to you baby girl.
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